“I have been through some terrible things in life...some of which actually happened.”
As the date of my mom’s surgery and the start of my ENC Summer Ministry training draws nearer, worry fills my mind. What if this? What if that? Why is there suffering in this world, why do people get angry... will I be good at my job this summer? fear has begun to grip my entire body. I fear the unknown of the summer and the inevitable surgery that my mom has to face. It’s so easy for me to put on a smile and pretend that I am not scared when I am distracted or having fun, but deep down I have a difficult time being truly courageous.
I woke up this morning with the desire to do something about this worry. I do not want to be stuck in fear or insecurity, because God is so much more powerful than that! God promises us a future with Him that is more glorious than we could ever ask for or imagine!
“Now the dwelling of God is with men, and He will live with them.
They will be His people and God Himself will be with them and be their God.
He will wipe away every tear from their eyes.
There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain.
For the old order of things has passed away.”
As I meditate over this passage from the last book of the Bible, I am filled with a sense of joy that no other words have brought to me. The thought of no more pain, no more death or tears! It is too good to be true! But it IS true. Why should I be stuck in the worries of today, when God’s promises are so powerful. My mother’s surgery is truly terrible, and although I know that God has allowed her to live with the burden of suffering, there is a purpose in it. The quote at the beginning of this blog brings about a great concept. “I have been through some terrible things in life...some of which actually happened.” This quote struck me as humorous, because there is truth in it’s words that all people can relate to. So much of our worries never come to pass, and we constantly struggle with the terrible thoughts of “what if?” The irony is this: we spend so much mental time worrying about what never even comes true! We allow our minds to be plagued with fear and with anxiety over events in which we have no control. I am worried about my summer, about the team dynamics and the work we will be doing. I have never experienced a summer like this before, or lived with 6 people in and out of a van for 8 weeks! The unknowns are making me anxious. I am a firm believer that worry = lack of trust in God. If we let our minds run wild with fears of the unknowns in our futures, then we are not truly giving our lives over to Him! As a final verse of encouragement to those who read this and also to myself, here is Matthew 6: 26-27.
Look at the birds of the air;
they do not sow or reap or store away in barns,
and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.
Are you not much more valuable than they?
Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
Look at the gift of life that God has given to all of us! He truly does take care of our needs, and we can have peace that we are valued and loved by Him. Although there are unknowns in our futures, God's care for us can outweigh fear. I know that God is trust-worthy and that I can place all of my worries in his hands. The worries I woke up with this morning were a blessing in disguise, because ultimately, God takes them away and fills me up with his peace. Without the fear, there would be no need for courage. Without worry, we would never understand the gift of peace.